Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The worst magic talent ever.

I have this annoying habit of being able to open any book and wind up directly at the sex scene. Currently I am in possession of the thrilling naval adventure story “Master and Commander.” I have opened thusly.

Two of the boobies were quite horribly dirty, and one had managed to exchange his slops for a red garment with remains of tinsel on it. Still, they all possessed tow hands; they could all clap on a rope; and it would be strange if the bosun and his mates could not induce them to heave.

The last time I opened it I found a paragraph talking about a man’s tendency to cane those of his sailor underlings who filled out their breeches too well, especially when they were bending over.

I’m a little scared to actually start reading.

mazarinedrake:

eyemeir:

next time I hear someone say they use “male” or “female” pronouns I’m going to treat it like their pronouns are literally male/male/maleself

that’s pretty dickish of you.

walkydeads:

thebluelip-blondie:

isharedfoundlove:

1863-project:

tigertwo1515:

did-you-kno:

Source

Damn

OKAY, LET’S TALK ABOUT ROBERT SMALLS (BECAUSE HE HAS A NAME, THANK YOU VERY MUCH).
ANYWAY.
Robert Smalls was born into slavery in 1839 and at the age of 12 his owner leased him out in Charleston, South Carolina. He gravitated towards working at the docks and on boats and eventually became the equivalent of a pilot, and in late 1861 he found himself assigned to a military transport boat named the CSS Planter.
On May 12, 1862, the white officers decided to spend the night on land. Smalls rounded up the enslaved crew and they hatched a plan, and once the officers were long gone they made a run for it, only stopping to pick up their families (who they notified) along the way. Smalls, disguised as the captain, steered the boat past Confederate forts (including Ft. Sumter) and over to the Union blockade, raising a white sheet his wife took from her job as a hotel maid as a flag of truce. The CSS Planter had a highly valuable code book and all manner of explosives on board.
Smalls ended up serving in the Union Navy and rose to the rank of captain there. He was also one of a number of individuals who talked to Abraham Lincoln about the possibility of African-American soldiers fighting for the Union, which became a reality.
After the war, Smalls bought his owner’s old plantation in Beaufort and even allowed the owner’s sickly wife to move back in until her death. He eventually served in the South Carolina House of Representatives (1865-1870), the South Carolina Senate (1871-1874), and the United States House of Representatives (1875-1879) and represented South Carolina’s 5th District from 1882-1883 and the 7th District from 1884-1887. He and other black politicians also fought against an amendment designed to disenfranchise black voters in 1895, but it unfortunately passed.
Smalls ended his public life by serving as U.S. Collector of Customs in Beaufort from 1889-1911. He died in 1915 at the age of 75.
And now you know Robert Smalls.

ROBERT SMALLS!!!

Let me hammer this point down. Slaves running away from plantions fighting for the Union army devastated plantations in terms of labor which weaken the south’s economy and immaculately leaded to the South losing the war. And if it was for Robert Smalls convincing Abraham Lincoln to allow former slaves to fight in the Union army slavery might have not have been abolished.This man Robert Smalls was the man that ended slavery and we never learned his name in school. I heard about him from an article on cracked.com

And no lie literally EVERYTHING in Beaufort is named after him.

walkydeads:

thebluelip-blondie:

isharedfoundlove:

1863-project:

tigertwo1515:

did-you-kno:

Source

Damn


OKAY, LET’S TALK ABOUT ROBERT SMALLS (BECAUSE HE HAS A NAME, THANK YOU VERY MUCH).

ANYWAY.

Robert Smalls was born into slavery in 1839 and at the age of 12 his owner leased him out in Charleston, South Carolina. He gravitated towards working at the docks and on boats and eventually became the equivalent of a pilot, and in late 1861 he found himself assigned to a military transport boat named the CSS Planter.

On May 12, 1862, the white officers decided to spend the night on land. Smalls rounded up the enslaved crew and they hatched a plan, and once the officers were long gone they made a run for it, only stopping to pick up their families (who they notified) along the way. Smalls, disguised as the captain, steered the boat past Confederate forts (including Ft. Sumter) and over to the Union blockade, raising a white sheet his wife took from her job as a hotel maid as a flag of truce. The CSS Planter had a highly valuable code book and all manner of explosives on board.

Smalls ended up serving in the Union Navy and rose to the rank of captain there. He was also one of a number of individuals who talked to Abraham Lincoln about the possibility of African-American soldiers fighting for the Union, which became a reality.

After the war, Smalls bought his owner’s old plantation in Beaufort and even allowed the owner’s sickly wife to move back in until her death. He eventually served in the South Carolina House of Representatives (1865-1870), the South Carolina Senate (1871-1874), and the United States House of Representatives (1875-1879) and represented South Carolina’s 5th District from 1882-1883 and the 7th District from 1884-1887. He and other black politicians also fought against an amendment designed to disenfranchise black voters in 1895, but it unfortunately passed.

Smalls ended his public life by serving as U.S. Collector of Customs in Beaufort from 1889-1911. He died in 1915 at the age of 75.

And now you know Robert Smalls.

ROBERT SMALLS!!!

Let me hammer this point down. Slaves running away from plantions fighting for the Union army devastated plantations in terms of labor which weaken the south’s economy and immaculately leaded to the South losing the war. And if it was for Robert Smalls convincing Abraham Lincoln to allow former slaves to fight in the Union army slavery might have not have been abolished.

This man Robert Smalls was the man that ended slavery and we never learned his name in school. I heard about him from an article on cracked.com

And no lie literally EVERYTHING in Beaufort is named after him.

I am completely unsurprised that the key that’s been sitting in a man’s stomach for at least two full days has no fingerprints. Also what the even fuck.

I am completely unsurprised that the key that’s been sitting in a man’s stomach for at least two full days has no fingerprints. Also what the even fuck.

This guard is having the best week ever.

reblog if you had a livejournal

crazyloststar:

REPRESENT

(Source: likeitsstolen)

shslscubadiver:

Gotta raise up that Gay-Point-Average

shslscubadiver:

Gotta raise up that Gay-Point-Average

(Source: pjransone)

lordsteeb:

imagine being an old-timey gangster but instead of having people murdered you had them loved. that’s pretty much my dream job now that i think about it. all sittin in bars in a pinstriped suit, being all “hey tony. see that guy over there? go take care of him, if you know what i mean.” and then tony goes and gives him a hug

Oglaf: The 1920s gangster AU.

(Source: orbsteeb)

ninemoons42:

mamalaz:

lokisbeastie:

high-functioning-sociopaths:

angelica-aswald:

shakespearelove:

chujo-hime:

winterstar95:

mamalaz:

Gangsta Avengers AU

Wherein the avengers are a secret vigilante group that eventually find each other and go after criminals the hard way.

Some body write this who isn’t me.

*casually slips these in*

Literally just happened:

"is that an Avengers gangster AUOHMYGOD *screech*"

image

Let me just add this….

I’ll just leave this here..

I’m so down for this!!

Can somebody do the thing where they write the thing and then tag me in the thing?

Reblogging for all the awesome people have added to this. 

Jesus, this was already hot stuff and then BAM SEBASTIAN STAN

Only zodiac signs that matter

  • Aries: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Taurus: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Gemini: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Cancer: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Leo: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Virgo: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Libra: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Scorpio: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Sagittarius: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Capricorn: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Aquarius: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west
  • Pisces: wants Gyakuten Kenji 2 released in the west